What happens when the rules you’ve subscribed to are incongruent with you are? Suffering. I’ve recently had several conversations with friends and clients on the rules they follow in their life, what it means to them, and which one’s no longer really apply to who they really are as people.
Therapists call it cognitive dissonance, it can also be seen as a double bind situation. When you have two opposing beliefs going on in your mind/body at the same time. Sounds like a whole lot of fun going on in your head, but the reality is that it can become torture if you are constantly forced to make choices for your life that constantly contradict.
The good news
So what can we do about it? Now that you’ve come to the realization that it’s going on well half the battle is over. Now it’s a matter of seeing what sits well with your mind/body/spirit. What adjustments you need to make to these in all likelihood strict rules that now need an upgrade or readjustment. Remember it’s your life, so naysayers will always exist, but will never be in your body to make the decisions of life for you. Once you get over that hump, feel things out. If you’re stuck, try 1 on for size and you will be able to tell if that was the right choice for you. How many times have you flipped a coin, been forced into a choice and felt that other was more to your liking? If neither seems good then maybe there’s a 3rd option. As Tony says, 1 option is no option at all, 2 is a dilemma, and 3 – well those are choices! Choose wisely from your gut!
Reminds me of this song…
(Am I wrong? By Nico & Vinz)
Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?
I ain’t trying to do what everybody else doing
Just cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I’ll fall but I’ll grow
I’m walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home
So am I wrong?
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong?
For trying to reach the things that I can’t see?
But that’s just how I feel,
That’s just how I feel
That’s just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can’t see
Am I tripping for having a vision?
My prediction: I’ma be on the top of the world
Walk your walk and don’t look back, always do what you decide
Don’t let them control your life, that’s just how I feel
Fight for yours and don’t let go, don’t let them compare you, no
Don’t worry, you’re not alone, that’s just how we feel
If over 17+ years in Corporate America, licenses in massage. energy work and coaching, working with 100's of clients and good old fashioned life taught me something, it's that life is worth living and living passionately! Enjoy these thoughts & lessons :-) Namaste, Coach Teany